Wow what happened to me?
I didnt even have time to queue posts on tumblr.
Wanted to write about how my first preaching went last saturday. Didnt have time so now i’m writing on my long journey back home.
I actually prepared 2 sermons. I didnt intend to but while i was writing down what i wanted to convey to the people, God impressed upon me how i should share the word. The first one i wrote was abstract, all over the place and there was alot of jargons. Because i referred to one of paul’s verses in romans.
Then, the Lord reminded me that there are baby christians and not only them, there were non-believers! And most importantly, not what i wanted to convey to the people, but what God wants to convey to them. Not my words, but His. Not my will but Your will.
So i rewrote my sermon. I tried to do it the sunday school way. (The times when i served in sunday school, i actually enjoyed hearing bible verses being taught in a simple style. It is easily digested and it stays with me for a long time. That’s the beauty of it.)
i used one of Jesus’ parable; the parable of the lost sheep. It was easier to make illustrations too. Plus i only had 15minutes. I had to learn the art of delivering a message that is sufficient, yet it will leave people wanting more.
I was having anxiety attacks on that day. I couldn’t eat or breathe with ease. But after my pastor and staff team prayed for me, the moment i stood on stage, i was at peace. I did fumble here and there but the main thing was that the holy spirit guided me through. God’s measage was delivered.
Im definitely sure seeds were planted. We’re just waiting for the rain to come. Thank you Jesus.
I still dont like the stage. I wonder how some can even bask in all the attention on them. Im more of a backstage kind of person. i guess this is one way of stepping out of my comfort zone. (:
"Let noone despise your youth, but set the believers an EXAMPLE in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity"
1 Timothy 4:12
Sometimes i just feel like using some of our youths as examples just to shame some of those who are supposedly “mature leaders” in my church.
Just a piece of my mind. Thank you.
A very tempting choice to take.
Sometimes i ask God why i can’t have an easy life. I am tempted to blame God. Although my faith does not waver, although i hold fast to my belief that God is by my side, i still cannot help but feel the pain. The fact that my mum is unwell again, maybe it shows that the devil got scared because of what she testified at the meeting. Although i know we are not fighting this alone, i still ask why we still have to fight this battle.
Was it because i stopped doing my quiet time? Or because i was so focused in ministry work, that i neglected my first true love.
Why am i left hanging? It’s not an outright rejection, but it feels worse. I feel like i’m treated as a spare. Why do definite answers not exist in my world?
It’s a disappointment i’m just waiting to get.
I also think it’s unfair that people blame me for not making an effort to catchup with them, when they themselves are not. So stop it, i’ve had enough.
So if you ask me how i am, maybe i’ll just lie. I’ll do you everyone a favour and just say i’m tired. the answer is obvious.
1. When a boy who leaves goosebumps on every inch of your skin tries to play you his favorite song, don’t let him. He’ll get it stuck in your head and under your fingertips and when he leaves, you won’t be able to listen to it without feeling like you’re choking.
2. Don’t let him touch you all over no matter how much you want to feel him against you. Leave a few spots untouched so that when you’re sleeping alone again, at least your left wrist and an inch of your right hip won’t sting with the remaining burn of his mouth.
3. Don’t let him break your ribs.
4. Don’t watch the sunset with him. He’ll poison it. You won’t be able to look at the sky without swallowing a mouthful of him.
5. Don’t mistake wasps for butterflies. Sometimes when you feel your stomach flutter and your hands start to shake it’s pain, not love.
6. Just because he tells you he loves you doesn’t mean he’s going to stay.
7. It’s okay to delete his number after he kisses the pretty girl he met when he was drunk. It’s okay to leave when he hurts you. You don’t have to keep falling into him.
8. When he tells you that you’re beautiful, try to remember that you were beautiful before him too.
9. Just because he reads and smokes cigarettes and talks about the stars doesn’t mean he’s your soulmate.
10. After you kiss him, remember to wash your mouth out right away so he doesn’t burn into your tongue.
11. He’ll kiss you in the rain and take you to little coffee shops. He’ll brush your hair out of your eyes and kiss your nose. He’ll grab your waist and whisper in your ear but six months later you’ll find yourself drunk texting him that you miss him and he won’t respond.
12. Your heart is going to break a million times. It’s going to feel like the world is falling apart around you. Your lungs will stop working some nights. You find yourself grabbing at your bones trying to hold yourself together. You’re going to feel like you’re dying. It’s going to be okay. You’ll find someone else to kiss you goodnight.”